Getting back into the swing of things

I've been gone for what seems like forever.

Fun trips, mission trips, and camp meeting (vacation). I'm finally home, and trying to get back into the swing of things.

Many times people thrive on the spontaneity of life. I'm not one of those. I like to have everything in order. I like to know what is going to happen. I like to be in control. And when I'm not in control - I have a difficult time accepting what others are doing!

But such is life. We go through life learning that we're not always in control. That things don't always go our way. Take for instance the story I have somehow been reminded of in the past few weeks. My call to ministry - and my plan versus God's plan.

I was called into ministry when I was in 7th grade. I told my mom I was going to be a youth minister - and she said "You have to go to seminary for that." I told her I didn't have to. She said "Yes you do- to be a minister." I told her I didn't have to - and we left it at that.

This is the calling I focused on throught the rest of middle school and high school. Then I got a little worried. "What if God was messing this up?" - I knew God wasn't. What I was really asking - "What if I can't do it." So I made a plan B. This plan B was to get a minor in education.

When I got to Presbyterian College I made sure to speak with the Christian Education department advisor. I was squared away. But I needed to go talk to the Education chair - just to inform her of my back-up plan.

Well when I explained to her that my plan: to major in Christian Education and minor in Education - she said "You can't do that."

"What?" I didn't quite understand - why not? Aren't college professors supposed to encourage young, energetic freshmen to have high ideals?! I didn't take to well to this lady telling me that I couldn't do something.

"You can't do that because that's too many hours - you can't get it done in 4 years."

Now I (thought) I understood. Oh well - if the 4 year plan doesn't work out - I can always go 5 years.

"You should major in Education and minor in Christian Education"

Well now - she was messing with my plan.

I told her politely I was set on majoring in Christian Education. And again - she told me I couldn't do that. Thanks...

I walked away and never looked back. God should have just come out and said it - instead of having someone tell me I couldn't do it.

But I guess God uses others to guide us. My plan - was not God's plan. God doesn't need a plan B. See - I either didn't trust myself - or (the more likely thought) I didn't trust God.

Why is it that we don't always trust God? I look back at that time and I realize that I was scared. I couln't see the outcome. I was afraid that I might fail.

I, I, I.

My fears were not based on God guiding me through. They were based on the fact that I thought I had to do it alone. The truth is - if I had tried to do it on my own - it would have failed. Eventually I allowed God to take control. I allowed God to guide me. I began working with God - not against. Now - I have just graduated seminary (I know mom's are always right), and I'm in my first full time appointment as a youth minister. I'm loving it.

I'm sure glad I let God take control and guide me!